Remember the Amalekites!

For a guy who doesn’t believe in anything much (never keeps kosher, says no prayers, is hardly ever seen inside a synagogue, whose father was a devout atheist, etc.), the Prime Minister of Israel, Benjamin Netanyahu, certainly has been busy thumbing through a friend’s Bible. Can an atheist be a Jew? Asking for a friend. But let’s not digress.

On October 25, 2023, in a speech, he waxed scriptural: “We are the people of the light, they are the people of darkness, and light shall triumph over darkness… We shall realize the prophecy of Isaiah. There will no longer be stealing at your borders and your gates will be of glory. Together we will fight, together we will win.”

Who knew that Isaiah was actually a speech-writer for Bibi and way back whenever had sat down to write his prophecies as instructions for Bibi on how to go about annihilating the Palestinians in 2023.

In case you’re confused, the “we” refers to the CUFI faithful and their ilk, who are eternally joined at the hip with the great Zionist cause of killing the Arab, like there’s no tomorrow, though that tomorrow may not be all that pretty.

In the words of the oracular Nikki Haley: “I say this to Prime Minister Netanyahu: Finish them. Finish them. Hamas did this. You know Iran is behind it. Finish them.”

What Nikki means by “Finish them” is that so far 3.324 Palestinian children have been killed by Israel so far, 7000 children have been injured, and 1000 are missing beneath all the rubble. These numbers change daily and will skyrocket when the bombs finally stop falling and the sane people move in to help. But it’s a good thing that Nikki identifies as a chrisschun. This is what it means to be a “friend of Israel.”

No doubt, in the various cultish prayer and meeting halls of America, many a Scofield Bible was gleefully riffled, as the CUFI faithful sped-read the book of Isaiah, trying to piece it to all together in that great jigsaw puzzle they call “Bible Prophecy,” and which they work at every Sunday and during “Bible study” so they can guess what God really means, since He just wasn’t clear enough with Jesus. They know that God wrote the Bible just for America and being “chrisschun” means being an End-Tme dissectologist, where each verse in the Good Book is an entirely separate piece of the divine puzzle, and your job as a “chrisschun” is to take it all apart and spend a lifetime trying to piece it together again so you can come up with a god that suits your lifestyle.

For those who have no patience for dissectology, one of Bibi’s religious backers likely gave him this verse to quote, knowing that it would go over really well with CUFI: “Violence shall no more be heard in your land, devastation or destruction within your borders; you shall call your walls Salvation, and your gates Praise” (Isaiah 60:18).

Bibi is more than happy to lend a hand and throw out another piece of the End-Time puzzle. In this verse, the Hebrew word for “violence” just happens to be “hamas,” which will send the CUFI multitude into an apoplexy of glee—imagine, God wrote down the name “Hamas” right in the Good Book! What a find for the puzzle! Never mind that Israel created, funded and promoted Hamas, until things went south, and now they have no clue how to deal with the monster they created. Actually, Bibi might also want to double-check his own status in “the people of light.” You never know…

The “world’s first AI-generated news and views” on Twitter (X), Terror Alarm, just did a survey, in which they asked which side people wanted to be on… the “forces of light,” represented by the flag of Israel, or the “forces of darkness,” showing a devil emoji. It was supposed to rally the masses to the cause of Israel (as had been done, successfully, in the recent Ukraine project). But things went somewhere else. It was no-contest: 90.4 percent would rather be with the “forces of darkness;” only 10.4 percent agreed to march under the Israeli flag. No doubt, Nikki Haley and Mike Pence (both deep friends of CUFI) worked like the dickens to get the vote out from all the people that said would vote for them to be president of the USofA.

But Bibi was not done yet.

On October 28, 2023, he gave another speech. This time he picked up the gauntlet thrown down by Haley and recruited the prophet Samuel into the IDF. If you were vaguely wondering what exactly the “people of light” like to do to the “people of darkness”… Well, here you go…

“You must remember what Amalek has done to you, says our Holy Bible… ‘Now go and attack Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have; do not spare them, but kill both man and woman, child and infant, ox and sheep, camel and donkey’” (1 Samuel 15:3).

Bibi is channeling Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik who said that anyone against Israel is “Amalek” and so fair game for mass slaughter. But let’s not get too technical.

Joe Biden immediately got busy looking up “Amalek” in the International Ice Cream Register (the latest 1960 edition, mind you), even though Doctor Jill told him that “Amalek” is the same as “Neapolitan,” a flavor that he has never fully understood since he knows no one who actually eats the strawberry part; it just sits there in the container, in the freezer, with the chocolate and vanilla long gone (though chocolate always goes first). He has long been planning on signing an Executive Order banning strawberry ice cream to solve this problem, to cut down on wasteful spending.

Kamala Harris could not be reached, as she was binge-watching the 10-part series by David Attenborough on laughing hyenas of the Serengeti.

And lest he be left out of the limelight, especially with Bibi hogging it all, Donald Trump vowed to ban Muslims and bar all and sundry Gazans from entering the USA, because all Gazans are Hamas. Ever the pragmatist, Trump knows that he won’t have to actually do any barring, as he’s hoping that Bibi will do a good job following Samuel’s orders. Since the same CUFI types are also behind Trump, as he tries to make the come back of the century, the real criminals can only be the Palestinians, because that’s how things roll in Bibi’s holy scheme of things, which Trump fully supports because Ivanka said so. Wonder what would happen if Trump said that he was going to ban Jews and everyone from Israel from entering America? His son-in-law would have to double-down on getting his messiah to resurrect his Abraham Accordion, so he can play that lovely hymn: “No never, Palestine, just Israel alone.”

Finally, the West has found someone who can define those terms that we have all scratched our heads over for so long, and which we have heard repeated again and again by our valiant rulers. You know: “our values,” “freedom” and “democracy.” This is why Bibi has unconditional support and no one will utter a peep, no matter how many Amalekite babies and children he bombs into oblivion. These are “our values.” That’s why “democracy is messy.” “Freedom” is never free. Hey, hey, ho, ho, Amalek has got to go. You see, when Hamas paraglides in and shoots civilians, it’s “Terrorism.” When Bibi drops thousands of bombs a day on civilians trapped in their homes, it’s the work of Yahweh (the cash-bound demiurge worshipped by CUFI), and which is also the Eleventh Commandment given to Mises: “the right to self-defense.” This is why the same people will do their darndest to take away the guns of every nation on the planet, except America, and everyone’s personal guns inside America. It’s Yahweh’s plan to make America the great policeman of the world again. Should you disagree, you’re an Amalekite.

And this is why there is such huge support for Bibi among the well-heeled Western monocrats, because he is such a thought-leader—even the brainiac Annalena Baerbock had to break down into tears and admit, “These days, we are all Israelis.” On other days, not so much—especially since a year has 560 days, and when she changes her mind it’s always 360 degrees for her.

Now, next time you hear our wise and humanitarian leaders speak of “our values”—remember the poor Amalekites!

Aristarch lives in splendid isolation and writes whenever something catches his eye and the Muse grabs him by the throat.